A Bit of a Funk
April 8th, 2020
Hit a bit of a funk today, but did a bunch of work on an Outco post as part of my word count limit. So I have been writing, but just not in this publication.
I think the funk came from feeling ab it over-extended. I just felt like I had a lot on my plate and haven’t been giving myself the breathing room I need. I’ve been staying on top of my job, working out every day, meditating, writing, posting my daily photo, keeping the house clean, making improvements, working on side projects. It’s just felt like a lot.
And I’ve noticed that I do this to myself. I hold myself to a high standard, I push myself, I try to do good work and do the right thing. Whatever I have control over, I try to make better. Whether that means helping clean up around the house, proposing new ways of solving a problem at work or spending quality time with a friend or family member.
I also had a conversation with Cy that didn’t make me feel good afterward. And it’s not really his fault or anything. It’s just that I realized I had trouble conveying some of the more complicated and messy thoughts in my head.
I guess they would qualify as philosophical thoughts. How else would you classify a question like “what is the meaning of the word ‘meaning’?”. Or how would you deal with the knowledge that no matter what you do, you will always be trapped inside this Universe? Or what should be the takeaway from Munchhausen’s Trilemma? Or Godel’s Incompleteness Theorem’s? Or its relationship to Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle? Or the Berry Paradox?
These are all dots that I’m trying to connect and I want to have someone with whom I can dive deep down the rabbit hole. I think there are a lot of interesting things to talk about and implications for how to look at the world, but it’s difficult to find people to talk to about these topics. And the frustrating part is that it’s hard for me to even articulate why it’s difficult.
But I guess I just have to be patient and keep working at it. Coding was something completely out of my reach for most of my life, and now it’s what I do for a living.
Maybe philosophical content is on my horizon.
