The Shadow & Psychedelics
I started experimenting with psychedelics a few years ago and wanted to dedicate a blog post to talking about some of the things I learned from them. Specifically, this post centers around psilocybin, which is the psychoactive component of magic mushrooms. It’s also roughly based on a chat I had with a close friend about the topic, which helped me verbalize some of the insights I’ve gained through their use and my research about them.
I recently listened to the Andrew Huberman podcast about psilocybin and it was insightful to hear what the scientific literature says about how this substance interacts with the brain. I figured since I’m experimenting on myself, the responsible thing to do would be to at least understand what’s been studied in a clinical setting. Here’s a link to the full podcast (also available on Spotify) though I’ll summarize some of the main takeaways I got from it too.
Psilocybin is chemically very similar to serotonin. After it’s ingested, it gets converted to psilocin and that is what has a lot of the psychoactive properties that people experience on their “trips.” I’m glossing over a ton of details but psilocin binds to serotonin 2A receptors in the brain, and those control aspects of lateral connectivity in the brain. Essentially the normal compartmentalization within the brain breaks down a bit and our thinking becomes a bit less hierarchical. This means things that would normally be processed separately, like say sights and sounds, may end up overlapping and crossing creating things like synesthesia and hallucinations. There’s also an aspect of neuroplasticity that gets promoted, which can help rewire and reconnect the brain in new ways, that hopefully are healthier and more conducive to long-term wellbeing. Some studies seem to point to long-term benefits towards treating certain mental illnesses like depression.
Here’s one analogy I heard from Michael Pollan on Joe Rogan that rings true from personal experience.
Overall it seemed like there are some promising positive uses for mushrooms, so what are the risks/downsides?
One thing Huberman mentions is that there is a risk for people prone to psychotic episodes or people with close relatives who are prone. And of course the higher the dose, the more powerful the trip, meaning crazier hallucinations and possibility for things to go wrong.
Now I’m fortunate to have never had a bad trip so far, and like most substances, there’s a safe chemical dosage, you have to factor in tolerance from prior usage, and also look at the genetic component for assessing risk. I also think there’s a cost-benefit component that we all make when it comes to personal decisions that is no different from choosing our diets, our exercise routines, how often we go to the doctor, whether we drink or smoke etc. Vsauce made a great video about this:
But one thing I discussed with my friend also has to do with de-risking things by how you set up your mind.
Let me use an analogy. The Placebo Effect is a well-documented phenomenon where people believing a substance has an effect, causes that intended effect to occur. Obviously, there are limits to this, but it essentially proves a degree of mind over matter. And it works in reverse too with the Nocebo Effect referring to people experiencing negative side effects that they created in their minds.
Tying this back into psychedelic use, one thing I try to practice in my life is being antifragile. If you’re not familiar with the concept, it’s the nuanced notion that means “the opposite of fragile.” It’s different from resilience, becomes something that is resilient and will eventually fail given enough stress, but an antifragile thing can adapt and become stronger as more stress is applied to the system. Some examples include training muscles for hypertrophy, special Roman concrete, or even the concept of biological evolution itself.
There are many ways I try to do this in my personal life, like just generally being healthy and surrounding myself with good people and support systems. But one practice in particular I think helps a ton and that’s meditation. Because what meditation allows me to do is to process a lot of my unconscious thoughts and create space to process my feelings appropriately. Sometimes this can be challenging but over time it helps me to become more aware of my blindspots and what’s going on in my brain.
It’s curious that parts of our brain keep stuff secret from other parts, though I imagine there are good reasons for this that can be explained by neurobiologies and evolution. Things like traumatic events probably aren’t healthy to ruminate over constantly, but at the same time need to be registered somewhere to prevent them from happening again.
The notion of the Jungian Shadow seems to apply here. It’s all the unconscious information that our brain keeps stored that surfaces from time to time in ways that surprise the conscious mind and that we often create stories around to explain. Though these don’t necessarily have a strong basis in reality:
This seems to happen more if the Shadow isn’t “integrated” properly into the Self, which is an idea I’ve been trying to wrap my head around for a few years. It had a somewhat negative connotation like it contained all the dark and scary thoughts that we have about say, harming others, or ourselves, or envious or lustful thoughts etc. Usually, I would think about it like it was something I had to just be aware of and keep in check.
But the breakthrough realization I had from the conversation with my friend the other day was that the shadow contains useful information. It’s not about keeping it in check per se, it’s about transforming it and making it a part of yourself. It gets complicated, and probably deserves a future blog post to itself (I’m sure this isn’t the last time I’ll talk about the Shadow).
But that transformation and integration is I think the piece I had been neglecting because it can be painful the same way a workout is painful. And importantly, the workout itself isn’t the thing that grows muscle, it’s the recovery afterward that builds it. The more you do the whole routine though, the stronger you get and I think the same goes for the mind.
This brings me back to psilocybin and its effects of breaking down barriers in the brain. I think if your mind isn’t prepared for what’s there, whether that’s because there’s just a lot of Shadow to integrate, or you haven’t practiced going into those dark places and looking at what’s there, I could see the trip becoming very negative very quickly.
The compartmentalization exists for a reason. If it didn’t it would be like if you kept all your folders and files on your Desktop and didn’t organize anything at all. But I know that over time if I’m not careful folders and things will start to accumulate that need to be organized and sometimes reorganized. Sometimes you need to combine things, separate them, archive them, or just throw them away. It’s just good housekeeping, and that applies to your computer, your actual living space, and your mind.
The risk of not doing this housekeeping is that we can end up forgetting important things, end up biased towards working on whatever is most available in our minds, or continue to put energy into things that aren’t important. We can get pigeonholed into a certain way of thinking and reacting rather than picking a better path that might be hidden in all the clutter. Over I think this ends up feeling like being stuck in a loop, like working a dead-end job, dating the same kinds of people over and over, being unable to lose weight and just generally effect any kind of meaningful change in one’s own life.
I’ll end this post by tying things into the image I used in the title.
At every point in time, there are a multitude of decisions we can make. Sometimes there are more, sometimes there are fewer, sometimes they are obvious, and sometimes they are hidden.
But being able to pick a branch of the multiverse you’d like to inhabit and go down is a skill that can be practiced. Revealing the hidden paths that exist in reality and our minds is not only possible, but I think it’s necessary if we want to become the best version of ourselves. And while there are many levels to doing that kind of inner work I do think psilocybin and psychedelics more generally have a lot of potential to create positive change in a lot of people’s lives if used properly.
I can speak to that transformative power from personal experience.
